Looking like a telepod mishap involving Donald Trump and Dolph Lundgren (Dolphand Trumpren?) Cliff Twemlow was one of the unlikelier stars – not to mention director, writer and producer – of the straight-to-video action boom of the 80s and 90s. Among his many careers, he had been a bouncer and a songwriter of reasonable note, though for one reason or another had never made much money at it. After the tell-all book documenting his experiences working the door at one of Manchester’s ritzier nightclubs became a moderate hit, a film adaptation seemed to be in the works; when that stalled, Twemlow did the logical thing and set to work making his own version.
That film was G. B. H., the first in a string of films plagued with odd twists of fortune, both for better and for worse. Target: Eve Island was to be an exotic mercenary romp in the vein of Commando, shooting in sunny Grenada – which was invaded almost immediately upon the crew’s arrival. The ever-undaunted Twemlow just turned it into a ripped-from-the-headlines story of the invasion of Grenada and, impressively enough, managed to capture many shots of genuine militrary actions without being killed, arrested, or deported (his unlikely charm is mentioned often by those who knew him). With The Ibiza Connection he got self-referential, shooting a disastrous film about the shooting of a disastrous film. Firestar: First Contact was a highly ambitious science-fiction project, seemingly made mostly from discarded cardboard.
While none of these are exactly good, they’re all made with a genuine love and none of them were poor sellers – the appearance of G. B. H. on the Video Nasties list must have boosted sales immensely. As is so often the case, the real barrier to success was problems with financing and distribution, i.e. there often wasn’t any. It’s a sobering lesson for would-be independent filmmakers. The actual shooting of a film is usually the easy part, especially with the right attitude. Twemlow’s films demonstrate the same sort of cheerful lack of regard for small details demonstrated by other independent exploitation auteurs – Roger Corman, Ed Wood, Tommy Wiseau. Look out for Leo the Lion’s famous roar from the MGM logo, used as a werewolf growl in Moon Stalker. What’s next, a vampire who hums the 20th Century Fox fanfare?